even though others may not support you,
even though the world doubts you,
even though you feel like you havent made much progress,
even though that person over there seems to be running down
her path with total ease,
even though it seems no one sees you,
even though you are unsure,
you just keep on...
follow that map imprinted on your soul....
I used to turn on the news in the morning, but with the current state of affairs,
I have stopped listening and instead I start my morning looking at pictures of my niece, Bella
or of baby Cedar, and doing this provides me with an immediate sense of hope and beauty.
Makes my day feel that much better..
All I can say is that there must be some shortage of angels these days to have so many around us pass away so suddenly.
There are no perfect words for when someone dies.
And there is no easy way through death.
We grasp for some kind of comfort, and perhaps we find some to hang onto,
but grief has a way of hitting like a tidal wave.
You may or may not see it coming, but when it hits,
suddenly your entire world seems upside down,
and its hard to find a steady place to stand.
It may be hard to breathe and all direction seems lost.
Its hard to go about the daily routine, or engage in chatter... and what was utterly important last month suddenly seems so very small and unimportant.
I come away from all these recent happenings with no deeper sense of faith or
understanding as to why things like this happen... Maybe answers will come, but they may not, and I have to accept that.
I just know that the words about
treasuring each day and loving each day as if it were your last, keep pounding in my head.
I still believe in prayer.
I still believe something good and kind comes from it.
So today, my prayers are for all of you
who are now faced with a very different kind of path...
and my hope is that you continue to reach out,
and ask for what you need,
that you are able to say what you need to say,
and that you go easy on yourself.
i pray that you will let others
care for you now, the way you have done for so many
and for you to remember you can take your time...
i pray you will get additional help and counseling if
the weight is just too heavy, and understand that there is no right or
wrong way to grieve and that everyone grieves differently (thank you for that one sue).
mostly i pray that an extreme dose of peace and love and assurance be injected into your heart and give you the comfort you need to carry on.
"Our biggest victories come from moving out of our comfort zones. Many people turn their back on their passions because they are too scared that criticism will kill them, or that their jealousy will wreck them, or that their need for control will paralyze them.
The truth is that in the end,
it is our avoidance that wrecks us,
kills our dreams,
and paralyzes our actions."
its that time of year when my fascination for the natural life, completely takes over.
with so much beauty that swirls around with springtime, my senses are on hyper alert, and i feel a very specific excitement each morning.
this is when
i feel the most connected to who i am,
at the core,
and to what truly sustains me.
this is it.
this is when i dont appear to be listening because i am so distracted by
the fern curls,
the robin songs,
the smell of the lilacs and the apple blossoms,
the feel of grass under my bare feet
those yellow furry chicks,
the bones of trees now covered in green...
the mad crazy storms,
the hope for another sunny day...
this is when i start dreaming of living far away from people and buildings and static and machine noise...
perhaps that old farm we saw yesterday when we were driving through the country....
because i feed so much off of nature in this form, it is like punishment when i cannot access it.
i know winter has its own natural beauty,
but for me,
and this time of year ~
i want to celebrate all the moms out there who do such and amazing job
and work so hard for their families and their children and love
them with all of their hearts...
i celebrate our new mommas who have waited so long for this day...
i celebrate all kinds of moms ~ whether your mothering is in how you care for others,
or for your pets, your garden, strangers, nieces, nephews...
you are so needed and so valued and your role is an essential part of the healing our world needs.
but i also want to acknowledge that this weekend can be a painful one for so many.
for the ones who have been trying to conceive or adopt for so long.
for the ones who have lost a child.
for the ones who have lost their mom.
for the one whose mom is who ill.
for the one whose child is ill.
for the one who is trying to heal her relationship with their mom or their own children.
the for the moms who are going through a divorce and feel afraid of being a single mom.
for the dads who are trying so hard to manage both parental roles.
for the ones who have lost their wife and the mother of their children.
for me this weekend i will celebrate with all of you who are celebrating but
i will also be thinking of all the ones who are suffering as well.
"To arise in the frosty morning at the point of daybreak, climb the hill and cut wood, while the sky lightens above the trees; to eat this wholesome, sweet food,
to use my body, hands and mind at the endless work I have to do;
to read by the firelight, to sleep warm and snug;
all this shared and enjoyed by my loving partner – what manner of a man originated this idea of a happier life beyond death?"
to sit in a room and hold the hand of a young man who will pass away within possibly a week, is a moment in time which is beyond sacred and beyond words and hits a place in my heart that seems to ripple forever.
to sit beside his mother and father, who can barely breathe
because the sadness is so heavy, is crushing.
i can think of nothing else.
it was just a short time ago i saw him outside with his daughter and his wife
and the new puppy ~ fully alive, strong and healthy and happy...having a totally normal day like we all have.
now he is in a hospital bed, unable to speak,
limited to only the small movements of his eyes, his one hand, and his right leg,
machines helping him breathe, tubes helping to sustain his body.
i know he knows we are there.
i know he can hear us and feel us.
i know he understands when his momma whispers in his ear...
i know his heart beats stronger as his father stands beside him.
i want to shove people who say otherwise.
i want to slam anyone who treats those in this condition as "already gone."
these tragedies that happen in life,
these unexplainable things that happen to the people we love,
are the continued reminders we forever need.
to remind us about what really matters.
about loving big.
about living fully.
about being kind to one another.
about not putting off that dream another day.
about mending and moving on.
about considering what will be remembered and left behind when we pass on.
i would so appreciate your prayers or your thoughts for our friends,
it has been a brutal time, and love and strength are deeply needed.