jen gray

November 30, 2007

trippin. . . .

my sweet peas, cayman ~ canon 20d (shot by susie)

i just returned from a beautiful stay in the caymans.
there were loads of good laughs, incredible music, great skies,
ocean swims, and visits with old friends.

now surrounded by bare boned trees and an
icy cold river, i cant help but wonder why it is i live
in illinois.

i typically get a little funked out returning back from
the islands, but being greeted at the airport by a
handsome man with cards and roses made the homecoming
much more easier.

more to come....

Posted by jen at 03:46 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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November 23, 2007

adios. . . . .

“Your heart is my piñata.” ~ Chuck Palahniuk

im off on a little adventure and will
be checking back next week...

peace to you
jen

Posted by jen at 05:04 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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November 19, 2007

Posted by jen at 12:18 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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November 16, 2007

issue #567

at gingers, canon 20d

what do you expect?...

after a daily diet of
the Girls Next Door,
Desperate Housewives,
Mature Rated computer games,
My Space,
Victoria Secret commercials,
Vogue Magazine,
Ads for Lipo, plastic surgery, diet pills,
Dad's Maxim magazine,
Mom's constant weight comparisons,

is it any wonder why our little babes are trying
so hard to grow up so quickly and look so perfect?

watch this ad from dove.....
and and this one too.

Posted by jen at 09:37 AM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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November 13, 2007

whatsoever...

soft, canon 20d

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before,
how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way,
and that so many things that one goes worrying about
are of no importance whatsoever...” ~ Isak Dinesen

Posted by jen at 09:22 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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stay beast. stay.

mold a rama, canon 20 d

i think most of us have that beast.
the one that growls in our ear all of our short comings.
(or what we think are short comings)

my beast tends to say things like:

"you will never be good enough.
you are disorganized.
you are too emotional.
you have nothing in common with anyone here.
you are a wreck.
you are stupid.
you wont be able to handle it.
you will never get there.
you have failed at so many things, why even try.
you are okay at alot of things but not really good at anything.
you are not responsible.
you suck. "

now its not like i hear these things all day long, but none the
less, the voice is there.

today my challenge is to put the beast in his cage and leave him
out back. im curious as to how i will feel not giving even a split
second thought to his shredding words.
and im curious as what voice will arise in place.

leave your beast at home today...

Posted by jen at 09:03 AM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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November 12, 2007

getting old. . . .

what's on the shelf, canon 20 d

Posted by jen at 03:11 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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November 08, 2007

sounding off....

ring my bell, canon 20d

oh my gosh, you guys are SO kind with your comments
regarding my "wonder woman, dancing with stars" impromptu...
thank you....thank you...

now let's give it up for **swirly**
who is giving us a little afternoon delight!

i love it when people break free from the
"what would people think" mode.
even if it is just for a few minutes.

i lived a good percentage of my life worried
about what others would think.
afraid of disappointing,
fearing the feeling of judgment,
not wanting to be anything but good and perfect.

the best gift i have received in the last couple
years of my life, has been in learning to give up
all that kind of chatter.

i
just
dont
care
like i used to before.

my heart can still get hurt by the meanies,
but im just not living my life around the approval
of others anymore. my acceptance comes more
from within these days.

and nothing, has been so liberating.

Posted by jen at 04:13 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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November 02, 2007

for you . . . .

halloween night, canon 20 d (photo by barron)

so many of my favorite people live across the country.
and there are so many times i wish i could be there
to celebrate their birthdays, give them a break from
their routines, lift their spirits after a long spell of tears,
or make them laugh when they need it the most. i miss
being close to my tribe, i miss like minded sisters.

the other night when this song came on, i couldnt help
but think of all my girls out there (two having birthdays this month)
when a theatrical performance (or a spastic seizure depending
on how you see it) came forth from within.

so....
boho

andrea
swirly
and to all my other fav chicks across the globe,

THIS
one's for you....

Posted by jen at 03:01 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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cleaning up . . . .

in the shed, canon 20 d

it has been said that the biggest
thorn in your side can also be your greatest
teacher.

so if that is true, i am having to look
for a lesson in someone that i truly
want nothing to do with.

could the lesson be about learning to love
unconditionally, and without judgment?
or could it be, finding a common thread in the
midst of feeling like we are worlds apart?

could the teaching involve learning to set boundaires
or learning to not let a negative person infiltrate
my thinking?

am i supposed to learn to draw the line or
loosen my grip?

am i seeing my own shadows reflected back to me?
or i am being asked to see my beauty in the midst
of such chaos?

i guess i just dont know.

what i do know is that when i am feeling the drain
of a conflict that seems never ending, and i have tried
everything under the sun to try and make things better ~
all i really want to do is grab my camera, my tunes,
and hit the open road.

and maybe that is what i am supposed to get.
to learn again and again to return to
what really brings joy to my days.
because the truth is, life is full of
thorns ~ and if i do not learn to preserve who i am,
and what i love in the midst of it, ill just end up
being a bloody mess....

Posted by jen at 10:55 AM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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