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October 31, 2007
no tricks, just treats. . .
happy halloween, canon 20d
Treat #1
A delightful cd and yummy incense from my dear friend, sweet mccabe.
Treat #2
My favorite new Fall socks.
Treat #3
These boots were made for walkin'.
Treat #4
I won't leave home without him: dr. hauschka.
Treat #5
My kind of hot tub.
Posted by jen at 07:59 AM | link | Comments (0)
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October 30, 2007
dreaming. . .
lucy waits, canon 20 d
in my dream i was being called away from
everyone else in the room.
i was then given a dish of the most delicious
dessert , told to put aside all the voices
still calling to me from inside the house,
and just enjoy the delights set before me.
even in my dream i understood the point.
ive been reading "the dance of the dissident daughter"
by sue monk kidd. one piece addresses the problem of
women sacrificing all for those who are in her life, while
letting her need for a creative and passionate life
take the back seat.
today i am off to remember what dessert it is
that i even like. maybe its been forgotten or maybe
its one i have yet to discover. . .
Posted by jen at 10:33 AM | link | Comments (0)
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October 23, 2007
D day. ....
D-Day, canon 20 d
today dear friend you stood before the judge
signed the papers, and in an instant ~
it was finished.
you are officially divorced.
i want you to know that i am so proud of you.
i admire you and respect you.
i know you did everything you could to try and
work things out. in fact, you did more than anyone
i know. but the truth is, it doesnt matter how hard
you try, if the other person isnt willing to do the work,
then you have no choice but to continue on.
i know your greatest concern has always been, and will
always be, for your children. you are an incredible mother
and because of you, your children will learn, as you did,
how to make healthy decisions ~ as hard as they might be.
they will grow up knowing, should they ever
find themselves in a situation where their souls are not being
cared for, they will have choices and know how to use their voice.
and they will know you will be there to help just as your parents
have been there for you.
you are teaching them that even though things change, your love
will always remain, steady and strong and true. I cant think of a better
gift for any child to have.
i was there, as you were for me, on the day of your wedding,
and i am here, as you have been for me, through the finality
of the divorce.
life continues to renew itself.
and you are taking the first leap into your new
and beautiful adventure. you were meant to have an
incredible and lovely life, and it anxiously awaits you.
i know its been a hard road,
but now you have a new map in front of you.
and now is when you will truly start to experience
the healing and the peace you so deserve.
things are going to be okay...
big love to you and the kids.
Posted by jen at 01:12 PM | link | Comments (0)
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ginger's , canon 20 d
the familiar life horizon
has been outgrown;
the old concepts, ideals, and
emotional patterns no longer fit;
the time for passing of a threshold is at hand ...
~ j.campbell
Posted by jen at 10:28 AM | link | Comments (0)
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October 22, 2007
14,965 days old
party for two, canon 20d
ive never been one to be
really into my birthday.
its just not my scene.
but i might just feel differently after this weekend.
sunday morning the bags were packed and i was
whisked away to an incredible farm, chock full with
organic yums, cozy sweaters, and silver chunky
jewelry. then it was off to a beautiful spot in the country
for a picnic of cheese and wine and crunchy apples.
i cant imagine a better way to have invited year 41
into my life.
Posted by jen at 08:57 AM | link | Comments (0)
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October 19, 2007
let the good times roll. . . .
what happens in barga, stays in barga ~ canon 20 d
back in the day i used to be a wild girl.
and many of those wild times happened with
my friend sue. somehow, when the two of us
get together, and the music is blaring, we get
going.
now we are older, a little more tired,
a little less outrageous...
but we still know how to have fun.
half my laughs belong to her.
and i know, that when we are 80, taking our
annual trips to italy, we will still be rocking the house,
(or rocking in our rockers at the very least.)
Posted by jen at 01:52 PM | link | Comments (0)
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what happens in barga, part 2 ~ canon 20d
okay, so she wasnt the only one
having fun that night....
(thank you jeff for sharing the stage)
(and for letting me hit your bum with the tamborine)
Posted by jen at 12:32 PM | link | Comments (0)
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looking back. . . .
one fall day, canon 20 d
16 years ago today i got married.
i felt like the luckiest girl in the whole world.
i would have never ever imagined us getting divorced.
no one did.
we were one the happiest couples we knew.
people would often comment on how we were inseparable.
for a very long time we had a good life together.
and we loved one another dearly.
i have no doubt we were meant to be in eachother's lives.
for reasons still difficult to put into words, our time as husband
and wife ended. it was by far the most painful thing i had ever
experienced.
though there were some really, really, tough times throughout our divorce,
we made it through. and it gives me such peace to know that today
we still care for one another and only want the best for each other.
with so many of our friends having gone through such ugly divorces,
filled with bitterness and vindictiveness and the heartache of children
trapped in the middle of it all, we know now we were fortunate.
because to have survived the pain of divorce and come out
still respecting and honoring the years we had together, is a rare and
sacred gift.
Posted by jen at 10:21 AM | link | Comments (0)
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October 16, 2007
ruff. . . . .
tommy, canon 20 d
we were talking about how we protect ourselves from the negative
people in our lives. how to remain acting from a place of love without
allowing the toxicity of another drag us down.
the reality is that sometimes
you can set all the boundaries in the world and the
stink still finds it's way in.
how do we remain in our higher selves and combat the human side
of our emotions that just want to scream "GROW THE HELL UP!"
when dealing with an unhealthy person, the truth is, you may never
get the response you so desperately wish for. sometimes all you can do is
do your best, and not sink down to low level behavior..the last thing
you want to do is match the negativity.
it may require you standing up for yourself.
it may require just walking away.
so what do you do with the emotions of it all?
im still learning that one.
its different for everyone ~ exercise, therapy, talking with
friends, praying, graffiti (kidding)... doing whatever you must to return to center.
what we decided is that the most important thing is
to not let the crap someone else is slinging
come between you and your loved ones.
and to be fierce about
protecting your love.
hate feeds off of destroying love.
bitterness feeds off seeing others miserable.
grudgefulness feeds off of stealing the future.
jealousy feeds off of seeing another crumble.
fear feeds off of the power of control.
and the mean ones are often
the saddest ones of all.
tonight i just want to rest in the love of the good people
in my life. i have an army of the greatest kind of hearts available
to me. they remind me what is true and what is important.
and when i am with them, the intensity of the drama life can
bring, just fades away.
Posted by jen at 01:35 PM | link | Comments (0)
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October 15, 2007
beneath it all . . . . .
what really matters, canon 20 d
it occurred to me that beneath it all,
i felt better for having taken the higher road.
and for knowing i can be comfortable in my own skin for having done so.
i cannot spend time on that which takes
away from the love in my life.
at the end of the day, i still know in my heart
what really matters.
Posted by jen at 11:45 AM | link | Comments (0)
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October 12, 2007
wanting out, canon 20d
“There are days that feel disjointed. Nothing seems to go smoothly. It may be that we are hearing the muffled voice of soul within us, asking us to let ourselves be lost for awhile. We are not machines, but spirits in search of home.”
All the Days of My Life: A Yearbook of Found Sentences for the Human Journey, by Marv and Nancy Hiles
Posted by jen at 11:11 AM | link | Comments (0)
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the writing's on the wall. . .
obvious, canon 20 d
sometimes i wish i could be this direct.
wouldnt it be nice if instead of having to
have a verbal confrontation
we could just get a can of spraypaint
and express ourselves on the wall
of our house?
suddenly graffiti is making alot more sense to me.
Posted by jen at 10:50 AM | link | Comments (0)
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October 10, 2007
the look.
yuck, canon 20 d
"you're so obvious"
what do you mean?
"your expressions always give you away."
in what way?
"like just now, you were totally annoyed at that woman in line
and you THOUGHT you were hiding your disgusted feelings, but they
shouted out from your face."
it cant be that bad...
"um ...you might want to try curbing it a little."
and then i saw it. i had walked into this bathroom at a bar and it was really gross and i saw my expression in the mirror.
and this was it.
maybe i should try curbing it a little...
Posted by jen at 03:02 PM | link | Comments (0)
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October 09, 2007
PULL!!!!
jenny's got a gun, canon 20 d
no, im not hunting bambi.
just a little clay disc flying in the air.
the boys took me skeet shooting
last weekend and i had a blast.
my aiming skills need a little
work but i loved it all the same.
ive always been a tom boy. . .
would rather climb a tree than the
steps to the next level at Woodfield
Mall. a scary path into the woods
is much more interesting
to me than the latest issue of People Magazine.
and if i could live off the land
and never ever have to step foot
in a grocery store, id be so very happy.
i often think it was some sort of cosmic joke
that i was born and raised in the burbs and
not on the 1000 acre farm i always felt
was more me.
but luckily, i have always had the
opportunity to travel to my beloved places.
and luckily, i have always had men in my
life include me in their boy things ~ fishing,
using power tools, motorcycle riding, and
now ~ skeet shooting .
today i salute all my fellow cowgirl-tomboys,
and the boys who are secure enough to
share their guns with us.
Posted by jen at 11:12 AM | link | Comments (0)
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October 05, 2007
friday's picks
grapes in barga, canon 20d
hope you watched elizabeth gilbert on oprah this morning. her book was essential in my healing.
loving the new cd by annie lennox
adoring this cozy sweater
been sneaking around curious goods
this story about a beautiful son and his great dad made me sob.
enjoying reading gypsy's words.
ive done some updating so be sure to check out more linky loves.
Posted by jen at 09:35 AM | link | Comments (0)
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October 04, 2007
for you ...
out by the farm, canon 20d
a friend of mine recently underwent a high risk
surgery to restore her vision.
its not my story to tell, but in short,
the surgery was a success.
and today, my friend, saw the sky for the first time in years.
so this one is for you my dear.
its the sky out by your old house in union.
i think it missed you just as much.
Posted by jen at 05:29 PM | link | Comments (0)
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October 02, 2007
mayberry. . .
along the way, canon 20d
we have a little place we drive to once a week.
the ride is half the fun, curving roads throughout
the cornfields, pass cows, and pigs, and tractors...
its just a little restaurant in a small boondock town,
filled with regulars, and folks who still pray before their meals.
beautiful elders who order the exact same thing
(cottage cheese instead of fries)
and prefer to sit by the window in a booth.
.....and dining there somehow brings us to a more simple mindset.
away from the pressure of financial success, and the need for pretty
home decor, and the flat stomach , and the 'look how talented my child is',
and all the other weight of social viruses.
its a feeling i treasure.
i am the girl who longs for an andy griffith way of things.
sometimes i wonder if i am the only
chick who desires this.
i guess it doesnt matter.
because he gets me and he gets it,
and we only have to drive a half hour to our own
little mayberry escape.
Posted by jen at 09:22 AM | link | Comments (0)
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