jen gray

May 24, 2007

there are places.....

roadside, canon 20d

i happened across this little place on a drive through the country.
locals ride their horses or their "hogs" to town.

thats my kind of scene.

ill be moving again at the end of the month.
and i know its just to another temporary place.

another rental, another town.

i dont even miss the house i still own with him.
nothing looks the same anymore.
its as if my life there has been erased.
and its just as well.

i think the gift of having to give up so much and let go of
so many things is that i really dont care about the outside
stuff much these days. i dont think i was ever really materialistic
but maybe i was.

now i spend money on the basics.
food, gas, cat food.

what did i spend it all on before?

anyhow. ...

im glad i am learning to live with less.
its so much easier than being pissed about it .

at the end of the day i am still free,
free to go wherever the wind blows...
and that is worth major bucks.

Posted by jen at 04:42 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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May 21, 2007

nailed.....

crucified, canon 20 d

sometimes i get confused between giving voice to my soul
and giving a megaphone to my fear.

Posted by jen at 08:50 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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May 19, 2007

live free, canon 20d

today.

no thinking about work.
no worrying about bills.
no wonderiing why you are mad.
no talking about the past.
no singing the blues.
no toxic folks.
no traffic.
no t.v.
no answering the phone ~ unless its you
no wishing i was carrying ten less pounds.
no taking for granted.

Posted by jen at 09:11 AM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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May 18, 2007

gone.....

its true.
i didnt like who i had become.

i was no longer this creative encouraging magical spirit.

i had become jaded.
i had become old.
i had become worn.

the words seemed fake to me. did i really used to write that way?
did i speak that way as well? did i actually believe life was like that?

oh god.
i had become cynical on top of it all.
i swore i would never be this way.

i dont like it .

okay, so maybe i was a little too trusting
a little too hopeful
a little too naive.

but at least i wasnt bitter.

you carry around pain and fear and sadness long enough
and it starts to ooze into your very being. it saps your joy and
your beauty.

and it was that moment i decided i didnt want to carry that
cross anymore.

Posted by jen at 07:32 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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May 10, 2007

whatever....

swept ~ canon 20 d

" When it comes to relationships, maybe we're all in glass houses, and shouldn't throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies... " carrie, sex in the city

Posted by jen at 05:04 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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May 08, 2007

these days....

mr. vince neil, canon 20 d

...my life
is anything
but boring.

Posted by jen at 04:41 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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May 01, 2007

the good and the bad...

todos los santos, canon 20d

" There's a dark side to each and every human soul.
We wish we were Obi-Wan Kenobi, and for the most part we are,
but there's a little Darth Vader in all of us. Thing is,
this ain't no either-or proposition. We're talking about dialectics,
the good and the bad merging into us.
You can run but you can't hide. My experience?
Face the darkness. Stare it down. Own it.
As brother Nietzsche said, being human is
a complicated gig.
So give that ol' dark night of the soul a hug.
Howl the eternal yes! ~ Chris Stevens, Northern Exposure

Posted by jen at 06:44 AM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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