jen gray

October 31, 2006

spell casting dreams....

shining like the moon, canon 20 d

if i could cast a spell on you this halloween...

i would demand your demons hit the road.
i would catch that guy who stole your computer, ipod, and camera
and make him pay you back and apologize.
i would set you free from the sadness.
i would vanish your debt and give you the winning lottery ticket.
i would let you see yourself the way i see you.
i would give you the freedom to stop pretending, and the assurance
that i would still let you win when we try to scale the church walls.
i would guarantee you that god is not about fear and guilt.
i would zap your dependence on the things that keep you from feeling
and fill you with things that would make you feel only good.
i would assure you that you really did make the right choice and
give you an award for trying so damn hard in the process.
i would allow us all the time in the world and heal those cells in your body.
i would give you the home and the safety you deserve.
i would make it be known in your heart of hearts that he is still with you and you did nothing wrong.
i would give all the teachers a big ass bonus and a 4 day work week.
i would show you that all along you have had the power and strength
within.
i would give you a button you could press that would instantly cease the panic attacks that hit you in the middle of your day.
i would give you the long deserved break you need.

yup. that's what i would do.

Posted by jen at 07:04 AM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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October 26, 2006

no beans about it...

beans from the farm, canon 20 d

the truth is, i like the way things are just fine.

and im not ready to make any big decisions.

this is the first time in my life for many, many,
years~ i have no one to answer to.
and im beginning to like it.

i have a place to live.
i have a job.
i have two cats to curl up with at night.
i have good friends and a good family.
i have future travel adventures planned and good road tunes.

what more does a girl need?

Posted by jen at 04:30 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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October 23, 2006

crazy....

villa bertagni. barga, canon 20 d

people say i am crazy to work with bd highschool students.

they are mouthy.
they resist authority.
they break the rules.

but the truth is, i am really no different from them.

in fact, i recognize so much of me in their day to day spillings.

i will say this. some people dont desreve to be parents.
and if i could, i would take each one of my unruly students
and adopt them. and do my best to give to them what they missed out of.

the violence. the abuse. the neglect. the absence of boundaries.
it is absolutely heartbreaking.

i pray for each one of them every single night.
and i pray to god that maybe, just maybe i will be able to
help them to see themselves as the beautiful spirits they are.

i am not crazy to work with these kids.
the rest of the world is crazy to have let them slip through their hands.

Posted by jen at 06:15 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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October 22, 2006

40.......

barga plays on, canon 20d

it was there he told me that my true life would begin at 40.

im praying he was right.
so today i close the door on the past year and step
fully into chapter forty.

"i am destined to move at night on the secondary
roads of the american dream. i took my first off ramp
after traveling under someone
else's direction and now i draw my own roads.
my life does not cadence to traffics or crowds.
its rhythm swings on the porch with the firelies.
i travel at the speed the wind blows stopping at
the magical places. singing the one clearest note.
cracking open an awareness of things more
beautiful than once thought possible a poetic life. " ~ gladys the brave

Posted by jen at 04:45 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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October 18, 2006

yup.......

the boy who makes me laugh, canon 20 d

everyone should have one person in their
life that constantly makes you crack up
even when you are a crabby girl.

Posted by jen at 06:07 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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October 17, 2006

just for today........

little one, canon 20 d

tonight i am so tired of trying to be hopeful
and positive.
i sometimes feel like the harder i try to do the right
thing, the harder i fall into the pit.

and then i see some people who just dont care,
and they seem to make it through life just fine.
i know its probably a misconception, but sometimes i wonder
how different things would be if i were a selfish cold hearted
bitch. because meanies sure seem to win alot more than the nice guys.

but i cant even be a bitch. i cant even do that right.

i just wish, just for today, that all the good people who
deserve a break would get it.
i need a break and i know alot of others who do too.

if i were god, i would make this happen.

that's what i would do...

Posted by jen at 07:30 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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October 16, 2006

the scope....

free will astrology

Libra Horoscope for week of October 12, 2006

You're renowned for your balancing acts, Libra.
Seeing both sides of every story is your specialty.
Striving to make opposites attract is an
inclination you were born to cultivate.
You may not always be in the mood to fight for harmony, and you may not always succeed at maintaining equilibrium, but you work harder at these fine arts than any other sign of the zodiac.
Having said all that, though, I will now advise you to rebel against your usual shtick. It's time for you to try out a new unbalancing act--to go to extremes without worrying about covering your ass.
The cosmos is giving you permission to be unapologetically vivacious and mischievously blunt as you say,
"It's my way or the highway."
(P.S. You might want to study the style of your Aries acquaintances.)

will do.

Posted by jen at 09:50 AM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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October 14, 2006

ye-haw....

hello peeps. im back.
i have finally settled into
my new little home.

i have an old neighbor named henry who
shuffles along the street and stops to chat to anyone
available. i can hear the church bells and the distant train
and the wild geese down by the lake...
there's a fireplace and a screened in porch and
an huge maple out front about to turn a brilliant red.

but the best thing is to finally feel after a year of
moving and traveling and living like a gypsy, that
i actually have a place i can call home.

its time for this wandering stranger to bunker down
for awhile and grow some roots.

Posted by jen at 05:16 PM   |   link   |   Comments (0)

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