my friend and i talked about the changes we wanted to make in our lives. and we determined we spend so much time trying to figure out the "how" of how to do those things~ and decided this leaves us lost. she suggested we simply put our dreams at the forefront of our minds, waking each day and wearing them as a hat. simply that.... and trusting that mindset (heartset) would magnetically pull ourselves in the direction we need to go.

we also challenged one another at each stoplight to verbally say out loud, an affirmation to oursleves.

"can i affirm that my ass is flat? "
"no. that doesnt count. "

we struggled in doing this. i had a million things i could have said about her and she had a million for me, but to give it to ourselves, was akward and felt dorky.

we finally came up with these.

"i smile alot at work."
and
"i am not afraid to take risks. "

thats the best we could do.

it would have been easier spending hours discussing our failures,
and the "im a loser" talk,
but to squeeze out one little postive affirmation was like trying to get a priest to consider wearing a sparkling thong under his garbs at mass. (i have no idea where than analogy came from, ...could have been the frozen drinks...)

so i awake this morning saying one affirmation beyond my flat ass comment.
even though it still feels a tad dorkish.

"I can stir up fun on the worst of days."

and i am putting on my hat of dreams...

for today that hat says,
"i dream of being free from depression.
i dream of having a job where i can contribute to the hearts of children.
i dream of not having to freak out over finances.
i dream of continued travel.
i dream to remain a supportive friend to my soon to be ex-husband.
i dream of always acting from a place of love.
i dream of becoming authentic."