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October 30, 2004
working windows...
dutch's boots, Canon 300D
the past several days i was working in chicago preparing the windows
on state street for upcoming holidays. i got to work alongside a group of people who are brilliant, and kind, and creative, and make me laugh my ass off. its rare to find a work situation which mimics the feeling of a family, but these folks certainly make it seem that way.
there were moments of frustration as there were hundreds of parts to be
perfectly placed, and the usual technical complications. but then
a child would walk by the window, and their face would light up
and their mouth would drop open
and that sparkle of wonder would catch in their eyes ~
and we would immediately be reminded of why we were doing what we were doing.
i have to say that a smile from a child is the ultimate kind of positive feedback.
and to be part of a project that will result in literally
thousands of those smiles leaves me with an amazing
feeling.
Posted by jen at 02:04 PM | link | Comments (2342)
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October 25, 2004
holy...
Old School ~ Alaska, *taken by Chris, Canon 300D
"and if everyone opened their heart they'd see
that every human is holy to someone..." Crosby and Nash
i think about this especially when i am on the verge of
getting pissed off...like when i am driving and the person in front of me is going way too slow, or when im on the train and the girl behind me is talking so loud on her cell phone at 6:00am... i try to remember that the person i am directing this anger at belongs to someone. they are someone's son or daughter, sister or brother, someone's mother or father...
if i ever saw anyone being unkind to someone i adore, it would kill me. if i ever saw anyone be impatient or say something sarcastic or disrespectful to someone i love, i would feel awful.
i try to keep this in mind when i am losing patience or about to say
something maybe not so kind...
everyone belongs to someone.
and every human is holy to someone else.
geez. imagine the changes on this planet if we could all really get this...
Posted by jen at 06:13 PM | link | Comments (1703)
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October 24, 2004
distracted...
Long white barn, mamiya 645afd
It's probably why I got into so much trouble at school when I was younger. I've always been so easily distracted by things. I was never good at ignoring. And now as an adult, I still find myself struggling with it. The smallest interference will take me away again and again.
For example, this weekend I need to complete my final project
for one of my classes. This should be a fun and creative task.
But as I sat down to begin, I was immediately bothered by the
mess in my room. The piles of books and papers, the old coffee cup, the sweater on the chair ~ it was annoying me. Interference number one.
So I cleaned up my room and immediately felt better. But as I sat down once again in my chair, I noticed my jeans felt tight. And sitting in my chair feeling restricted by those jeans wasn’t going to fly. Interference number two. So I got up and put on a kinder version of pants.
Okay. NOW I was ready. The office was clean and
I was wearing comfy clothes. Phew.
I was just about to begin my work when I saw a little ladybug crawling on the wall. Interference number 3. I tried to ignore it. But then I got to thinking that it was probably thirsty and hungry and was missing its buddies. And it was so beautiful outside, no one or no thing should have to be trapped inside on a day like today. So I scooped the little critter up and brought it outside.
Back in my office. Clean room, comfy clothes, ladybug free….
NOW I am ready to begin.
But of course, one needs the perfect music while creating. So I start wandering through my collection. I can't believe I was actually into El Debarge while in college. And why do I still have this cd? Okay, back on task… This has to be just right. Not too mellow. Not too crazy. Not too jarring. Not too boring … Maybe I should go with an instrumental mix so I wont be distracted by the words. So I put on nice Windham Hill cd and FINALLY, an hour and a half later, I begin my project.
But the music is so relaxing and reminds me of those changing trees down by the river and how these warm days are becoming fewer and fewer and how we don’t have our pumpkins yet and today would be the perfect day to go to the farm…..and…and…
Before I know it, I am putting on hiking boots and
heading out the door. The fourth and final distraction wins.
I am off.
Oh well, maybe tomorrow I will be more focused…
Yeah right.
Posted by jen at 05:54 PM | link | Comments (1185)
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October 20, 2004
aged...
silos at dawn, Mamiya 645AFD
maybe its beacuse my laugh lines are still hanging
around even when im not laughing.
maybe its because one of my classmates
was born the year i graduated from highschool. (ouch)
maybe its because i am beginning to forget things ~ like my age and my phone number.
maybe its because i really love going to bed early and prefer
reading and green tea over late nights and cocktails...
but lately ive been feeling old.
or older.
or something like that.
i used to be the wild one.
i used to be spontaneous and daring and energetic and fearless...
i used to change directions like the wind.
i used to have my hands in 15 different things at one time and
know exactly what was coming and what was going .
now i feel a bit more passive. a bit more mellow.
a bit more quiet. a bit more slower.
and i can barely juggle three things at the same time.
am i okay with that?
i guess so.
i mean, it's not like i can stop the process.
but its just strange to notice the changes.
and lately ive been noticing ....
and you?
*** a sure fix for when you are feeling the reality of your age
is to go get yourself some Superhero threads created by the lovely and beautiful andrea scher...
i just ordered myself a batch and already feel an added skip in my step. ***
Posted by jen at 07:48 AM | link | Comments (974)
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October 16, 2004
misplaced...
still standing barn, Mamiya 645AFD
"When we are angry or depressed in our creativity, we have misplaced our power. We have allowed someone else to determine our worth, and then we are angry at being undervalued...
Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough — that we should try harder....
The clock is ticking and you're hearing the beat. You stop by a museum shop, sign your name on a scuba-diving sheet, and commit yourself to Saturday mornings in the deep end. You're either losing your mind — or gaining your soul. Life is meant to be an artist date. That's why we were created..."
~ Julia Margaret Cameron (1815-1879)
Posted by jen at 08:03 AM | link | Comments (642)
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october...
field corn, Mamiya 645AFD
highlights of the week included:
taking in the blazing sugar maples while drinking hot apple cider.
having the assistance of Heather as i worked
on my final project.
listening to the electric and amazingly talented Jimmy Fishbein in class.
knowing our beautiful and newest cousin ~ Andrew Vito Buffalo ~ has finally arrived...congrats Tony and Rosa...
finally getting that crabby old man to break into a smile.
getting to help a poor little wren that crashed into the window downtown.
spinning Van Morrison's Into the Mystic while tromping around that corn field.
wanting to quit and then changing my mind.
Posted by jen at 08:03 AM | link | Comments (992)
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October 14, 2004
here...
red barn, harvest moon, Mamiya 645AFD
and forget not that the earth delights to feel
your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair ~ kahlil gibran
mission accomplished.
Posted by jen at 05:52 PM | link | Comments (1311)
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October 11, 2004
in the right place...
Here ~ Taken by Chris, Canon 300D
we thought it was crazy,
we thought it was extreme...
hell, the limited daylight hours alone was enough to send
shivers down my spine.
but he knew he had to go.
he wasn't exactly sure why, but he knew there must
be a reason for being drawn to such a place.
its been a couple months now, and he is getting
settled in his new life, his new world.
he loves his job, and though some of the conditions are
less than comfortable, he knows he is in the right place.
and things are beginning to make sense.
and he sounds so happy.
and now i cant imagine him being anywhere else.
(although i do wish he were closer...)
im proud of you chris.
i admire how brave you are.
i respect that even though everyone else was telling you otherwise,
you still followed your spirit's voice.
remind me to do the same when i forget...
and don't forget to come back for a visit.
Posted by jen at 02:52 PM | link | Comments (541)
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October 09, 2004
scents...
lavender spokes, Canon 300D
nothing like sinking my face deep into
some lavender leaves to make me forget
~ even for a single moment ~
about
the bills
the laundry
the papers
the exams
the assignments
the jobs
the to-do lists
the phone calls
the e-mails
the worries
the stuff...
yup. one little whiff does this body good.
Posted by jen at 07:06 PM | link | Comments (865)
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October 06, 2004
tangled
white barn, blue sky, Mamiya 645AFD
the only thing i knew how to do
was to keep on
keepin' on
like a bird that flew,
tangled up in blue ~ bob dylan
Posted by jen at 06:01 PM | link | Comments (1017)
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October 04, 2004
combine wishes...
harvest time, Canon 300D
somewhere in between wanting to save a bird
that's been trapped inside a mall, and learning
how to find wild ginseng,
is the part where i wrote:
"...and i want to drive one of those big combines
during harvest time."
im talking about my list.
the list of things i would like to
do this year. a list with no great pressure,
just a place to put
my passing wishes into words.
so.... i was out in the country yesterday and i stopped
to take a photo of a massive combine churning through the
beanfields. the farmer came over and introduced himself to me.
i explained i was taking photos for a class. we chatted for a bit
and then he said to me,
"well, do you want a ride?"
not a minute later i was sitting beside "farmer dale" and
riding through the rows on this massive piece of machinery.
halfway down the field he turned to me and said,
"okay, its your turn now."
he pulled me over to the drivers seat and there i was ~
driving a combine just like i had always wished.
the sun was setting, the fields were golden, and i was
driving one bad-ass tractor.
maybe making the list gives an
extra punch to manifesting dreams.
maybe it doesn't.
but id like to believe there's a little magic to it all.
Posted by jen at 03:45 PM | link | Comments (1113)
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October 02, 2004
shadows and light...
set piece windows, Canon 300D
spending time here:
amy vitale
carloyn drake
afterlife seasons
heimo
listening to :
madeleine
girlyman
bill
teitur
Posted by jen at 12:13 PM | link | Comments (1141)
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