jen gray

May 29, 2004

hands...

last night, i had the wonderful honor
of spending my evening with ten Tibetan monks
visiting from the Drepung Gomang Monastery.
i wish i had the words to describe how beautiful
this experience was....but i dont.

if you could peek into my heart however,
you would find:

sacred chanting,
meditative prayer,
a wonderful meal,
expansive warmth and goodness,
deep sadness about the chinese communist occupation of Tibet,
enormous respect for the dedication of their lives,
and a huge reality check of how priceless our
religious freedom really is....

thank you dear friends, it was an honor to have sat beside you.

Posted by jen at 02:12 PM | link | Comments (689)

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May 09, 2004

wildfire

thank you for being my mom.
thank you for teaching me how to make clover necklaces.
thank you for letting me have cats, dogs, toads, salamanders,
hermit crabs, goldfish, and a bunny (even if it was for just one day)
thank you for not killing me when i drove your car through the garage,
and for the time i drove the same car into a dumptruck.
thank you for all the work you did for us ~
even when you were exhausted from being
the bionic mom that you are.
thank you for teaching me to stand up for myself.
thank you for bringing so much music into our home.
thank you for gently handling my very sensitive spirit.
thank you for the assurance that you will always be there for me,
no matter what happens ~ i really do know this....
thank you for giving me a father, sister, and brothers i adore so much.
thank you for teaching me respect for all living things.
thank you for egg salad sandwiches
and love notes in my lunchbox.
thank you for letting me take piano, dance, gymnastics, guitar,
clarinet, violin, and horseback riding lessons
~ even though you knew i would want to quit within three weeks.
thank you for letting me go, and understanding when i just needed to come back home.
thank you for providing such a creative environment to grow up in.
thank you for your sense of humor,
and all those crazy adventures you took us on.
thank you for continuing to grow and learn and work on your life's journey.
thank you for the company of your wild and free spirit.
i love you mom.

Posted by jen at 09:43 AM | link | Comments (960)

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May 07, 2004

mother's day...

i just wanted to say
i know for many of you
this is a tough weekend.

maybe its because you have lost your mom.

maybe its because you have lost your child.

maybe its because your arms desperately
yearn to be filled with a child
of your own and it hasn't happened.

maybe its because you have decided not to become
a mother and you are tired of people questioning
you about your choice.

maybe you had to give up your child,
or maybe you are the child who was given up.

maybe its because you haven't had the
best relationship with your mom.

or maybe its because you haven't been getting
along with your son or daughter.

whatever the reason is,
i am hoping that
peace,
comfort,
healing,
forgiveness,
hope,
understanding,
and love find you this weekend ~ at the exact moment you need it.

Posted by jen at 11:28 AM | link | Comments (608)

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May 06, 2004

listening....

i usually lean upon the ears of the woods, or the bike trail,
or the paper in my journals to hear my concerns and
questions.

until recently, i never knew how deeply
i would value having a friend who listens.

a friend who dares to ask the questions...
a friend who holds emotion gently, without judgment...
a friend who reminds me im not being "dramatic"
just because i am feeling my feelings...
a friend who assists me in connecting back to what i truly believe.

lots of you are "listeners."
the one whom everbody always calls.

i hope you are receiving the beautiful gift of
being listened to as well.

*thank you dear ones, for teaching me
the value of completing the circle.

Posted by jen at 10:10 AM | link | Comments (916)

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May 04, 2004

hell holes

as i child i was really obsessed with world peace.
i came up with the idea that if i could convince the devil
(who in my mind, was the root of all evil)
to go back to being friends with god,
all bad things would vanish and everyone
would live happily ever after.

so where does one go to converse with Satan?
the nearest manhole of course.
i somehow thought those lids hid the
tunnels that led to hell.

i made it a daily ritual to talk to that red guy
with the horns and the pitchfork.
id sit on the manhole cover and pitch my best reasons
as to why he should give up the whole hating business.

i would say things like,
"if you and god made up,
you would have a ton more friends
and you wouldnt have to live in such a hot place..."

little did anyone know that when they saw me
sitting there, day after day,
i was actually in deep negotiations with the antichrist
about world peace.

one day while i was chatting with him
a bee crawled up my shorts and stung me.
i was certain it was a "hell bee."
and this put an end to any further talks.
why should i bother with a guy who has such mean pets anyways?

Posted by jen at 08:56 AM | link | Comments (640)

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