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May 04, 2004

hell holes


as i child i was really obsessed with world peace.
i came up with the idea that if i could convince the devil
(who in my mind, was the root of all evil)
to go back to being friends with god,
all bad things would vanish and everyone
would live happily ever after.

so where does one go to converse with Satan?
the nearest manhole of course.
i somehow thought those lids hid the
tunnels that led to hell.

i made it a daily ritual to talk to that red guy
with the horns and the pitchfork.
id sit on the manhole cover and pitch my best reasons
as to why he should give up the whole hating business.

i would say things like,
"if you and god made up,
you would have a ton more friends
and you wouldnt have to live in such a hot place..."

little did anyone know that when they saw me
sitting there, day after day,
i was actually in deep negotiations with the antichrist
about world peace.

one day while i was chatting with him
a bee crawled up my shorts and stung me.
i was certain it was a "hell bee."
and this put an end to any further talks.
why should i bother with a guy who has such mean pets anyways?

Posted by jen at 08:56 AM   |   link   |