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January 29, 2012

new star in heaven tonight...

Today my dear friend's Mother passed away.

It's such a mixed bag of feeling peace because her Mom is finally free from the madness of confusion and pain she had been suffering with for so long,
and the true sadness of loss and heartache that death brings.

One thing my friend can be sure of, she was truly there for her Mom.
She took such good care of her mom, above and beyond what I think most people can even fathom. She gave everything she had to make sure her Mom's last journey was the best that it could be. The moment her Mom became ill, she stopped her life and dedicated herself with all her might to help her.

I had the gift of seeing her engaged with her Mom..... So gentle, so patient, so connected, so loving and so in touch with her heart. . Even when her Mom was confused as to where she was or what was happening to her, my friend could always calm her down. Even at the times when she wasn't mentally sure who was standing before her, tmy friend would be able to find her Mom and soothe her with the familiar kind of love that only exists between a mother and daughter. My friend knew the way of getting through the fog and reaching her.

I watched as she sang to her, massaged her stiff bones, and listened to her, really listened. She bathed her, helped dress her, and feed her. She brushed her little curls, read to her, and surrounded her with beauty. She fought for her and for her medical care which was a hell in and of itself. She got her to the doctor appointments and through surgery and through horrible moments of terror that only dementia can cause. She wrote down her thoughts and poems, she made her room beautiful and cozy...She knew how to join her mom wherever her mom was traveling in her mind. I cannot say enough of about the fearless love I witnessed.

Tomorrow begins a new story. A story I have had to learn to navigate through myself. The story of life without the physical presence of her Mom. It's a tough road, but I know she will find her way through. And I know her friends and loved ones will be with her along the way. I know I will be, as she was there for me.

If you could take a moment to whisper a prayer in her direction, I would be so grateful.

"You will lose someone you can’t live without,
and your heart will be badly broken,
and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp."

— Anne Lamott

Posted by jen on January 29, 2012 06:07 PM