feelings like jealousy, or bitterness, or selfishness, bitchiness....
anger, depression, rage, fear...

and yet we encourage one another to be honest...
to be real...to not stuff our feelings.

this blog used to be an avenue in which i used to do that.
but then i became aware of people saying, gosh ~ "you are so heavy, or so
depressing"...and i felt badly for portraying such a downer attitude.
so i wrote less and less.

and it became harder for me to express myself in a truthful manner.

i began to filter.

maybe there is a time for filtering. after all,
there have been times ive had to" snap out of it"

but im not digging the filter that limits my true voice.

there are days and nights when i am so pissed off or so dreadfully sad but i feel l should communicate only goodness and kindness and love.
but if i do that on the days where that is not happening, then i am being fake.

so here is an effort for me to yet again, try to be more authnetic. even on the not so pretty days.