gone.....

its true.
i didnt like who i had become.

i was no longer this creative encouraging magical spirit.

i had become jaded.
i had become old.
i had become worn.

the words seemed fake to me. did i really used to write that way?
did i speak that way as well? did i actually believe life was like that?

oh god.
i had become cynical on top of it all.
i swore i would never be this way.

i dont like it .

okay, so maybe i was a little too trusting
a little too hopeful
a little too naive.

but at least i wasnt bitter.

you carry around pain and fear and sadness long enough
and it starts to ooze into your very being. it saps your joy and
your beauty.

and it was that moment i decided i didnt want to carry that
cross anymore.