I had a similar situation, but reversed not to long ago. I felt badly that all of my friends were struggling, while I was happy. Someone said, "Don't worry, it'll be your turn to suffer soon." So, I can offer you the same advice. It will be your turn soon to have good fortune. By the way, I'm still happy but not for any particular reason, mostly just to be able to tell you I hope your day is awesome and doesn't suck.

I like a quote a friend of mine says, "As long as I'm looking at the grass and not the roots, every day is a good day."

we've all been there honey, we all feel these feelings - on one side or another. you're right we want to keep it all into perspective and be thoughtful of others around us. it's hard either way...we're all human...

Jen.

I am so in the same place today. I lost my job and have been really struggling to find a new one. I can't seem to get anyone to even take a look at me. It's so hard to believe and trust the right job will come. I try to not get mad when I hear others talk about having their dream jobs but today it's just not been that easy. I have felt like crying and going back to bed all day. I know this will pass and I hate not being happy for others. I keep telling myself that everything happens the way it is supposed to but there are just days where it doesn't feel that way. It's nice to know others feel that way too sometimes.

you've tapped into a very human condition.

Yep..hear ya. One of my best friends and I were in the same emotional/relationship space a year ago, and now she is in a "happy" state of affairs, while I still continue to deal with same issues. I know we all walk our own path, but last week I faced my feelings too of "what has she done differently to deserve the great relationship, etc.".

I know most of us probably weren't conditioned to get in touch with that "dark side" of our emotions/feelings. We're taught to keep up appearances.

The only thing that has worked with me is to face the "dark side" straight on...to know and accept it's just part of the deal...to make peace with it I guess. And it seems once I give those emotions a space to speak then I can begin to move through it.

Keep on keepin on sister!

Michelle~

I think about this a lot and I have to keep reminding myself that no matter how bad I feel about something... someone else feels worse. Not to, in any way, minimize what you are going through.... but someone out there is jealous of what you have. It's part of life and no matter how we try to cover it up, the circle never ends.

it too is the one thing i try to keep in perspective. my problems are a blip on the map compared to so many. i just want to learn how to deal with these unpleasant emotions with grace, towards others as well as to myself, you know?

you are brilliant.

:)

But ohhh when the happy moments come, how much sweeter they'll be now...

When they come, revel in them. And they WILL come.

Jen,
Thank you for you in ALL your human-ness. We are all better for our shared struggles and I am pulling for you!
Love,
Amy

Beautifully put! I wish in a way I couldn't relate with all these sentiments expressed here, but alas, I'm human and can all too well! Jealousy visits us all. I just wish it wouldn't come for more than an overnight stay, and at times in my life, it has moved into my very soul and refused to budge. Those are always such hard, hard times.

hey possum...

check out "earth angels" by doreen virtue.

love you.

When I look at my own experience with it, I think loss causes jealousy and its really not all that much of a choice whether or not to feel it when it comes (regardless what some suggest is virtuous). I think its a really important part of coming out of that kind of grieving that seems like it will go on forever (maybe a part of moving through denial even - that jealousy stops you from denying you lost something). It gets me pissed off/sad/scared enough that I'm forced to decide if I really want that or not (whatever the "that" is) or the conditions under which I might want it. Hm. Obviously, you got me thinking. . .

a friend once told me the difference she makes between jealousy and envy. jealousy, she said, is when she begrudges another person for what they have that she doesn't. envy is when she just wishes others could have what they have, even though she might not. it is a distinction that has helped me so i thought i'd share the idea with you.

this really made me think and evaluate things on many levels... thank you for sharing.

Thanks for your insightful comments. You made me remember those moments on the "other" side and just how awful it is. Your honesty is so real. Thanks for your willingness to share it.

you make us all think about this...it's the million dollar question - how do we really deal with these feelings? you've had me thinking about this for the last day ....it made me realize that I feel these feelings so much more often than i care to admit to myself or others....i want to be rid of them or know how to deal ...

hey........my girl
think of it this way........i never see much value in dwelling on that which i can't change. i hope that all the peeps who know me accept me and if they don't..screw um! Being a bit older than my girl gives me the right to express it as such. age has some gifts to acquire? & aarp is attacking my mail slot. yes..if i didn't have the balance of humor with compassion i might be an a-hole. i might be one anyway but i feel loved......your mom for one and dudith,PAT & kids & grandkids, even my boss at work ...he calls me every day to chew my ass but i feel the love. xoxo PinAZ

eloquently said.

i can relate to lots of the things you listed as well.

thanks for being open about your feeling so that we don't feel alone.

keep healing.

hugs, jill

I have a very hard time when these feelings come up for me and a hard time thinking back to the times when I have made someone feel bad by what I have said.

I guess it is human and I too am trying my best to be aware of those around me-most of all to read where they are before reporting where I am.

I hate to admit how hard this is for me at times.

I have said/felt the exact same things you say here.
I thing it IS very Human to have a hard time being around/hearing ppl. talk about the WONDERFul _________ in their life when you are struggling with ____________.
Oy.
Hard.